I bought her a shirt today. I've tried to resist buying clothes for our daughter at this point because we don't know what age she will be when she comes home. Today, I couldn't resist. It was pink, it was cute, it had a bird on it, and it was a whopping $2.50. After I got home, I started to hang it in what will be her closet, and then I decided to hang it on the outside of the closet door...for all to see. Well, at least I can look at it often. It seems I, being a visual learner, need something to look at to remind me. I want to be reminded of the hope I felt today.
As it has this past month, my hope will wane at times. Yet, at other times, it will appear like the welcomed sunshine Wesley and I enjoyed today at the park. It will gently land on my heart as the beautiful cardinal outside of my window with it's breast all fluffed up to brace the winter's chill.
I have felt so encouraged after posting my last entry by my precious friends who have written me saying words like, "You are not alone", "I have felt the exact same way", and "I am praying for you". God knew what I needed to hear, and He has blessed me so much with friends who let me see their insecurities, their mess, and their fears.
Sometimes I think we can fall into the trap of thinking we have to have it all together. Everyone else does. We believe the lie that all the other moms know what they are doing and don't ever struggle with the feelings of doubt like we do. This week, I've been reminded that we are all in this crazy, broken world stumbling over each day just trying to do the best we can. Freedom exists when we let others see our flaws and our insecurities, and hope comes when we open ourselves up to others and are vulnerable enough to share our struggles.
I'm going to go look at the adorable shirt hanging on the closet door. I'm going to let myself feel excited knowing that there will be difficult days to come, life with three kids will not be easy, but I can do it because of God's wonderful and sufficient grace...and with a little help from my friends.
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Franklin Five
Let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. 1 John 3:18
Let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. 1 John 3:18
When I need to be reminded...
Ethiopian Orphans from Simon Scionka on Vimeo.
8 comments:
And you have a lot of friends who love you dearly!
please post a picture of the shirt!
Beautiful, Jo!
Can't wait to check out that adorble little shirt. <3
Hi Jo,
I'm so glad you are feeling better about all of this. I read your previous post and noticed that I am reading the same devotional book as you. I love it! I know we just met a couple days ago but just know that I am praying for you and your family. Hang in there!
Love,
Katie
I failed to mention....can't wait to see the shirt on your girl and in your arms!
Love you, Jo! So thankful for you! I love your heart and your encouragement, your insight!
Amen, Jo! Isn't God good! All mothers at one time or another blow it, feel inadequate, and just want to hide our heads! But then God blesses us with a touch of His love through our children or through His creation or through the greatest creation, friends! I love you, Jo!
Been following your blog and praying you get the call but am finally posting! The adoption process has so many highs and lows. Buying little girl clothing is definitely a high :) I just sit in our little one's nursery and dream about when she will finally be home.
Best,
Amy (co-worker of Tim)
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