This last month has been rough, and I feel ragged. My two-year-old has stepped into his "terrible two's" complete with tantrums and melt-downs. He refuses to sit on the potty, answers a grumpy "no" to most questions, and has decided he hates baths. Mommy has wanted to have her own melt-downs.
And it's not just that...I have felt like this gray cloud has been following me every where I go. I, being a woman who doesn't cry that easily, has found myself several times on the verge of tears. I have felt overwhelmed and overburdened by the responsibility before me. At first, I thought it was the end of Christmas, the good-byes to loved ones who live too far away, and the cold weather that confines us to our house. Yet, we are back into our routine, the sunny has peaked out, the snow has melted, and I still feel "blah".
I think about our adoption, and again, I feel overwhelmed. The excitement I felt a few months ago has been replaced by anxiety and feelings of inadequacy. How can I do it? How can I mother three children when I feel so overwhelmed caring for two already?
I asked God these questions, and His reply, like so often times, was a gentle reassurance. He reminded me that His grace is sufficient for Today.
I woke up one morning to read this message in my devotional book, Jesus Lives, by Sarah Young:
My Grace is sufficient for you, but it's sufficiency is for one day at a time. That's why it is essential for you to learn how to live in the present. Your mind so easily slips into the future, where worries abound. You also spend way too much time analyzing the past. Meanwhile, splendors of the present moment parade before you, and you don't even notice. Part of the problem is your tendency to strive for self-sufficiency. I will help you learn to rest in My sufficiency, depending on Me more and more.
Be he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. 2 Corinthians 12:9
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Franklin Five
Let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. 1 John 3:18
Let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. 1 John 3:18
When I need to be reminded...
Ethiopian Orphans from Simon Scionka on Vimeo.
1 comment:
This is so honest and so well put! You are so right...we are all stumbling around in a broken world as broken people...I think God must be so much more patient with that process of realization than we are. There is something healing about knowing that we all are there or will be there someday. I think God is delighted to have our honest struggles before him and to have us come to Him with nothing left but tears and frustration.
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