This is Tim writing from Canada. For those that do not know, I have been working in Canada since the 1st of April. Thankfully, our time apart is growing to a close. I will be headed back to TN on Wednesday to celebrate Graham's birthday and get the family ready to start our Canadian experience together. It took about 3 days being here by myself to learn that I am not cut out for single life. :)
I am living in our rental house with nothing but a mattress, dresser, and chair. As a result, I have finished a couple of books and mostly worked way too much. I am finishing up a "Counterfeit Gods" by Tim Keller now. There is a quote in the book at the beginning of chapter four that resonated in my heart and honestly scared me a bit. . .
"I have an iron will, and all of my will has always been to conquer some horrible feeling of inadequacy. . . . I push past one spell of it and discover myself as a special human being and then I get to another stage and think I'm mediocre and uninteresting . . . Again and again. My drive in life is from this horrible fear of being mediocre. And that's always pushing me, pushing me. Because even though I've become Somebody, I still have to prove that I'm Somebody. My struggle has never ended and it probably never will."
As I read the quote I had to admit to myself that part of me really resonated with this potent paragraph of lucidity provided by Madonna of all people. The title of chapter four is "The Seduction of Success." Why is it that we need validation from others and why doesn't the weight of our heavenly father's validation crush the desire for earthly validation? I have always identified with one description of Mary the mother of Jesus as an ordinary girl the Lord used in extraordinary ways. Sometimes Ordinary is just what we need to be, but it is just awfully hard for me to be content being Ordinary.
This Canadian opportunity is yet another example of the Lord's allowing me to combine my passion for cars with my career. I have the opportunity to be the Nissan/Infinti Product Planning Senior manager for the country of Canada for the next couple of years.
For some unknown reason, the Lord has richly blessed me in every area of my life. I had amazing parents and a father whose love, while not perfect, was very intentional and sacrificial. It is a steep extample to follow. There are not adjectives descriptive enough to describe what a blessing my wife is. She has been a partner and my chief supporter in the many adventures my career has taken us - Grad school, Michigan, TN, Canada . . . . As if those blessings were not enough, my sons and now my daughter are simply joys. I don't know what the Lord has planned for my life, but I want to live it for him wherever that takes us.
Oh, may I rejoice in the good times and also when the tough times come. Let my love for the Lord not be contingent upon my blessings. All I have is his - may I live with a loose grip on my possessions and career. May I not be "too easily pleased."
Now, I have to go clean up the house before Jo gets here . . . . she won't be pleased with the popcorn bag in the sink.
"We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like and ignorant child who wants to go on making mid pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased." C.S. Lewis, The Weight of Glory