One Year Ago

One year ago, Tim and I got on a plane that took us to the other side of the world to meet our daughter. This week, I am remembering with a joyful and thankful heart the journey that took us to Lidiyanna. What an amazing week it was and I will never forget that first moment that I saw her. Tim and I waited nervously on the front steps of the transition home while a nanny brought Lidiyanna out to us. She was wrapped in a purple blanket which now seems so perfect. We always say purple is her color and she just loves her blankets. She cannot go to sleep without them. The nanny placed her in my arms and was wiping Lidiyanna's eyes. She had a cold and her eyes always water when she's sick. I just started crying and felt such a heaviness in that moment. It was a good heaviness but it was one of those defining moments that change you forever.

We spent a week in Ethiopia visiting Lidiyanna every day at the transition home. I treasured each moment there and dreaded whenever our guides told us it was time to leave each day. Lidiyanna was so sweet, smiling whenever I kissed her, making great eye contact with us, and falling asleep in our arms. We bonded so quickly with her, and it was very difficult to say goodbye at the end of the week. I was so thankful for her loving nannies and the way they cared for all of the babies is something I was always be grateful for. I think that's part of why babies from Ethiopia tend to adjust so quickly in their new homes.

Today, as I was watching her play, I could hardly believe it has been one year since I first met her. She has grown and changed so much, and we have enjoyed getting to know our daughter. Thanks for remembering and rejoicing with me.

Home

Home...

I realized this past week that my home is no longer Nashville. It has taken me two months to learn that fact, but I think it has finally clicked.

I got really brave, or crazy, and took my children on a 14-hour road trip to Nashville last week-without Tim. What was I thinking? Well, Tim was traveling to Seattle for business and I just didn't want to stay in Canada without him. Plus, my church in Nashville was having VBS and it's the best VBS I've ever been a part of. I also have really missed my brother, his family, and my friends, and I just wanted to see them.

We had a great time, but my heart longed to go home. And, I just couldn't. I couldn't go to my old house on Meandering Way, and yet, I don't feel like my house in Canada is home. You know the feeling you had when you went away to college and came home for the weekend. You realized you didn't quite have a home anymore. You were floating around in the middle not quite sure where you belonged.

We drove by our old house to visit some neighbors, and I felt so sad. I wanted to be home. We went to church and saw precious friends. It was bittersweet to be reminded of such great friendships. I couldn't wait to get home.

My home is not in Nashville, and my home is not in Toronto. My heart will not be at rest and fully at peace until I am Home and in the arms of my heavenly Father. God has been good to remind me that our bodies are only temporary dwelling places for us, and someday we will rest, fully and peacfully rest in a beautiful, perfect home beyond what we can imagine now.

So, tonight as I wrestled with this internal struggle and longed for my Home, I felt God telling me to be thankful. Be thankful for the good things He has given me now. His good gifts make this temporary passage a little more enjoyable.

Right now, I am thankful for ...

• the big, brown eyes and toothy grin that greet me every morning
• the older brother grabbing his little brother's hand on the way home from the park
• the sunshine and gentle breeze
• a good book to keep me company tonight
• a hard-working husband that is devoted to his family
• the forgiveness offered to this tired mama after yelling at her boys for fighting over who had more bubbles in the bathtub

Meanwhile, we groan, longing to be clothed with our heavenly dwelling, because when we are clothed, we will not be found naked. For while we are in this tent, we groan and are burdened, because we do not wish to be unclothed but to be clothed with our heavenly dwelling...Now it is God who has made us for this very purpose and has given us the Spirit as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come.

2 Cor. 5:2-5

• Thankful for what is to come.

Happy Birthday, Wesley!

We celebrated Wesley's birthday with a dinner of rice and chicken (his choice), cookie cake, and a bike ride (he got to ride in the trailer-also his choice). It was a simple yet sweet celebration for my precious boy. I can hardly believe he's four!

Fourth of July with our friends

We had some good friends from Nashville come to visit us this past weekend. Mark grew up outside of Buffalo so he had already planned a trip up to visit some family. We were so happy to get to see some familiar faces and spend another Fourth of July with them. We have celebrated the Fourth together for the last four years so it was fun to carry on the tradition even though we didn't see any fireworks this year. While they were visiting, we took the train into Toronto and rode the ferry to Toronto island. It has some beaches and a small amusement park on the islands. We also visited Chinatown and had some yummy food. It was a crazy experience and we were all exhausted at the end of that day, but it was well worth it.

The Hoesels

Lake Ontario

We learned our lesson the first time we traveled in the city on the train and opted to take Lidiyanna in the backpack instead of bring the stroller. It was much easier to get around and through lots of stairs without the stroller. She was a trooper the whole day and took her nap in the backpack.

one of the beaches on the island

We steered clear of the clothing-optional beach on the other side of the island.

Friday, July 1 was Canada Day which is similar to our Fourth of July. The kids wore their Canada shirts and we went to the lake and watched fireworks.

One Year Ago...

We received the call. We had a baby girl. Her name was Lidiya. She was four months old. We rushed to the computer. We saw her precious face. It was love at first sight.

One year later, Lidiyanna brings us so much joy. She is a lively 16-month old toddler. She keeps us very busy. She is constantly following her brothers around, climbing on everything (including the table in the backyard), snuggling with mom and dad, bringing us books to read to her, and showing us her adorable, toothy grin. Although she is more interested in moving than talking, she does say a few words like Dada and pupu (puppy). We cannot imagine our lives without her. This weekend, we remember the call that changed our lives. We thank our God for giving us the privilege of being her family.

Glimpses of Oakville

Lidiyanna in our backyard on Father's Day

The kids enjoying the bike trails around our neighborhood.

Random Thoughts about My New Home

My Canadian observations so far:

• "Mum" instead of "Mom"


• "Bum" instead of "bottom"


• Smarties candies are different here. They are similar to M&M's.


• In my opinion, the summer must be the best time of year. The weather is fabulous and everything is green and beautiful.


• A lot of women work full-time outside of the home and have live-in nannies (a lot of them are from the Philippines). Whenever I go to one of my neighborhood parks, I see groups of Filipino nannies with the children they care for. I am a little discouraged that I am not meeting more stay-at-home moms during the day. The nannies are nice, but they have their little group. I just feel like an outsider to them.


• The GTA (Greater Toronto Area) is very green and environmentally concerned. I have no disposal in my home because I am expected to compost which is picked up every week. The GTA does a great job preserving trees and green space. Even though I live in a new neighborhood, lots of trees were saved in the outlying areas and trails were made throughout the wooded areas. The kids and I have spent many hours this week riding bikes through the trails near our house. Lidiyanna rides in the bike trailer, and I ride Tim's old bike from college. Good times!!


• I've said this before...people from all over the world come to live in Canada. So far, I have met people from Europe, Tanzania, Jamaica, Nigeria, Russia, India, and Philippines.


• I can't find any cans of Rotel tomatoes. Oh, my!! Although there are lots of great food here, Tex-Mex doesn't seem to be too popular.


• Canadian geese are everywhere by the lake. So is their poop.

Things have been interesting. I'm finally learning my way around, most of our boxes are unpacked, and the kids and I have set up somewhat of a daily routine. I miss my friends and family in Nashville terribly. Despite all of the fun, new experiences we are having, I am homesick. I'm praying each day for God to shape my attitude and help me to enjoy this time and not just endure it. I am clinging to these verses:

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous! Do not tremble or be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10

Zero Emission Sunday!

Wesley was on charging duty.

Sitting by the dock on the lake.

Skipping rocks - The lake Ontario shoreline is a rock skipper's paradise - Smooth stones abound.

The Seagull likes it.

Plenty of cargo space.

We may have taken the first Zero Emission trip to church in Canada. I drove one of Nissan's new LEAF's home this weekend. The LEAF is the first true production all electric car. After church we explored another shoreline park in Oakville.

Nissan's marketing strategy is "Innovation for All," and we put "All" of us in the LEAF today. It is truly an amazing car, and while I love big engines and 0-60 times, I am glad Nissan has created this truly innovative car.

The Adventure has begun!!

We've made it to Canada and have been in our house about a week. The boxes are just about unpacked but there's still the settling in that takes time. We started out last week at Great Wolf Lodge in Niagara Falls, and the kids had a great time at their indoor water park while we waited for our furniture to arrive on the moving van.
We're learning where all of the parks and grocery stores are and we've found a few "splash pads" as the Canadians call them. Toronto has a really great park system, so I think we could go to a different park almost every day this summer.

Overall, things are going well. The kids are doing a really great job adjusting to the change. The boys have had their moments of sadness. Graham has mentioned missing his Kindergarten teacher and Wesley said he was ready to go back to his old house. I've been trying to keep them busy, and that seems to help. The weather has been so nice, so we spend a lot of the day outdoors.

I have moments during the day when I feel the loneliness hovering over my head like a gray cloud. I miss our friends and family in the states, and I simply long for a friend who knows me. When we are at a park or the store, I wonder if I stick out because of the way I talk or how I look. Am I giving the cashier the right coins or am I saying the right word for the bathroom (which happens to be "washroom" here). Then, I look around and realize there are lots of people here that are from other countries so I blend into the array of diversity around me. I'm learning to appreciate new things and my perspective is growing.

I'm a minivan mom now, and I'm loving it. My favorite part of the car is the GPS. I'd be lost without it...literally.

Our new home

It didn't take long before Graham learned about the ice cream truck that frequents our neighborhood. He has declared Tuesdays "Ice cream day".

I can already tell one of my favorites things about living here will be the water. Oakville is right on Lake Ontario and some nice lake shore parks are not too far from our house.

Wesley loved the flight to Canada. I think he thought we were just going on one long vacation.

The good-byes have begun.

Our move to Canada is quickly approaching and the time to leave our friends and family in TN is almost here. Today was our last Sunday at our church. I kept telling friends that I would like to see them later in the week so I wouldn't have to say goodbye. I'm procrastinating.

Right now, I have very mixed emotions. I'm so glad to have Tim home and for the six weeks of being apart to be behind us. I'm excited about the new adventures we will have as a family and to see how God is going to grow and challenge us. Yet, I am nervous about moving where I know no one. I'm overwhelmed at the thought of unpacking and getting set up in our new house with three little children. I am sad to leave our friends and family that we have enjoyed sharing day-to-day life with for the past five years.

As Perpy reminded me this weekend, life is always changing. Nothing ever stays the same, so I know I need to embrace this new chapter in our lives.

Thanks for your prayers and for your friendships. God has given me some amazing friends here in TN and I will miss you all.

The movers are coming on Wednesday and we will be leaving Nashville on Saturday. We're are going to the Great Wolf Lodge over the weekend to have a little get-away before the unpacking begins at the beginning of next week. So, the next time I post I will probably be writing from Canada.

Bye, y'all!! It's been fun, eh?

Happy Birthday, Graham!!

It's celebration time at our house. Graham turned six today and is finishing up his year in Kindergarten, and Tim came home from Toronto. We are happy!!His teacher gave him this crown to wear all day at school since he was the birthday boy.

We enjoyed a birthday dinner together as a family. It was the first time in over six weeks that Tim has been home on a weeknight. We are all so happy to have him here.

Canadian Experience as a "Single" Guy

This is Tim writing from Canada. For those that do not know, I have been working in Canada since the 1st of April. Thankfully, our time apart is growing to a close. I will be headed back to TN on Wednesday to celebrate Graham's birthday and get the family ready to start our Canadian experience together. It took about 3 days being here by myself to learn that I am not cut out for single life. :)

I am living in our rental house with nothing but a mattress, dresser, and chair. As a result, I have finished a couple of books and mostly worked way too much. I am finishing up a "Counterfeit Gods" by Tim Keller now. There is a quote in the book at the beginning of chapter four that resonated in my heart and honestly scared me a bit. . .

"I have an iron will, and all of my will has always been to conquer some horrible feeling of inadequacy. . . . I push past one spell of it and discover myself as a special human being and then I get to another stage and think I'm mediocre and uninteresting . . . Again and again. My drive in life is from this horrible fear of being mediocre. And that's always pushing me, pushing me. Because even though I've become Somebody, I still have to prove that I'm Somebody. My struggle has never ended and it probably never will."

As I read the quote I had to admit to myself that part of me really resonated with this potent paragraph of lucidity provided by Madonna of all people. The title of chapter four is "The Seduction of Success." Why is it that we need validation from others and why doesn't the weight of our heavenly father's validation crush the desire for earthly validation? I have always identified with one description of Mary the mother of Jesus as an ordinary girl the Lord used in extraordinary ways. Sometimes Ordinary is just what we need to be, but it is just awfully hard for me to be content being Ordinary.

This Canadian opportunity is yet another example of the Lord's allowing me to combine my passion for cars with my career. I have the opportunity to be the Nissan/Infinti Product Planning Senior manager for the country of Canada for the next couple of years.

For some unknown reason, the Lord has richly blessed me in every area of my life. I had amazing parents and a father whose love, while not perfect, was very intentional and sacrificial. It is a steep extample to follow. There are not adjectives descriptive enough to describe what a blessing my wife is. She has been a partner and my chief supporter in the many adventures my career has taken us - Grad school, Michigan, TN, Canada . . . . As if those blessings were not enough, my sons and now my daughter are simply joys. I don't know what the Lord has planned for my life, but I want to live it for him wherever that takes us.

Oh, may I rejoice in the good times and also when the tough times come. Let my love for the Lord not be contingent upon my blessings. All I have is his - may I live with a loose grip on my possessions and career. May I not be "too easily pleased."

Now, I have to go clean up the house before Jo gets here . . . . she won't be pleased with the popcorn bag in the sink.


"We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like and ignorant child who wants to go on making mid pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased." C.S. Lewis, The Weight of Glory

A Little Photo Shoot

Our adoption agency creates a calendar every year using pictures of the adorable children they've helped to place in homes. They ask families to send in pics and they choose the cutest ones. I've been enjoying my calendar all year and am hoping to see my sweetheart's face on next year's calendar. Mommy and daughter had a photo shoot today. Can you help me choose which one I should enter? I actually get to send in five pictures and I'm going to use some that I have from earlier in the year.

Mother's Day Thoughts

Yesterday, Wesley kept saying to me, "Happy Smother's Day, Mommy!" I thought he was pretty close to the truth in his statement. Sometimes mothering feels very much like smothering. It's okay though. If I have to be smothered at times, I couldn't pick three more precious kids to do it to me. :) I know there will be a day when I miss being smothered by them.

And, now, for some comic relief...Daddy had a little too much fun with Lidiyanna's hair in the bathtub. Our little girlie has some hair!!

A Cozy Little Home

On the steps of our deck in the backyard, a blue jay has made a nest for her four eggs. We found the nest last week, and for four days in a row, she laid one egg each day. We are excited to watch the baby birds hatch and see how the mommy takes care of them. We can stand on our deck and look down below at the nest. God's creation is truly amazing.

Happy Easter!!

Friends from Ethiopia

Larkin with our kids

We met Larkin's mommy in Ethiopia when we were there for court, and we traveled again the same week for embassy. She lives within an hour of us so we get to see them every now and then. My boys love playing with Larkin.

Lidiyanna and Ella

Ella's mommy, Leigh ann, and I quickly became friends through Yahoo groups as we were waiting for our referrals. We both found out about our daughters on the same day and hoped we would meet in Ethiopia for court. At first, it looked like we would not because Ella's court date was not going to be until after courts resumed after the rainy season. Then, at the last minute, Leigh ann found out they made court on the last day before the closing, and we did get to meet in Ethiopia in August. We later spent another week together in Ethiopia in September when we were back for embassy and to bring our daughters home.

The bond between adopted families is amazing and to have spent a week together (we shared a suite) in Ethiopia with our daughters truly bonded our families. Our precious girls were born in the same region of Ethiopia and were taken to the same orphanage within days of each other. Then, America World brought them to the transition home at the same time. I say they were each other's first friends. We hope we can get the two girls together periodically in the years to come.

The Creek

Something magical occurs in the creek behind our home. Sticky mud on a flat rock becomes a decadent chocolate pie. An ordinary stick turns into a fishing pole able to catch even the smartest fish. An overturned rock reveals an elaborate home for the the juiciest worms one has ever seen.

The warm weather and running water in the creek draws my boys out back where their imaginations take off, and together they explore and have adventures that I could never create for them. As they enter this make-believe world, they miraculously cease all arguing and work together to build their fort, catch their fish, or transport rocks from one place to the next.

This week, I have been in love with the creek behind our home. It has offered my family a sanctuary where two little boys get lost in hours of play. Who needs a TV or toys when you have mud, water, and the companionship of your brother. Yes, my laundry may have increased but so has the peace in my little world.

Welcome back, Spring! We missed you.